dsm32

Happy Rainy Day!

2011-09-23T14:46:00.000-05:00

Yay! A rainy day for the first day of autumn! This afternoon i took the palm tree i live with outside to bask in the glory of the rain for a good soaking; it's been too long, and i've been too lazy to do my friend the courtesy more often—but not today! Today is for the trees!

Yay rain!

harborside, Wellfleet, MA

2011-07-12T12:37:00.001-05:00

my father died early this morning, my mother by his side. she says he went easily in the end and without struggle; the pause between his breaths became longer and longer, and finally he just stopped.

we visited him last night, my brother and i, as he lay on a reclined bed with a transparent oxygen mask over his mouth, each breath a little closer to his last. my mother's elder daughter was there too, making each of our paths a little easier and providing what comforts she could; it was she who called to tell me this morning.

from my stereo now comes the sounds of Sting's 'Soul Cages' album, which he wrote after the death of his own father. i haven't listened to the whole album in years, perhaps anticipating this day. borrowed emotional vehicles. 'Why Should I Cry For You' and i cry.

my father and i spent a lot of time together, episodically, over the last twenty years (after i was reborn after my darkest time), and he helped me to a second try at life. he drove (and flew) many times, many hours to see me and spend time together; and we visited many places we wished to see. the winter coast of North Carolina. outer Cape Cod at all seasons. driving from Phoenix to San Diego. a train ride from Flagstaff to Boston. a trip to Britain with his sons. more places, more times than i can count.

bye, Dad. safe journeys.

the album starts over again.

Great Island in Wellfleet, MA 2

2011-07-12T12:30:00.000-05:00

Great Island in Wellfleet, MA 1

2011-07-12T12:29:00.000-05:00

Casey Anthony trial — let it go!

2011-07-06T06:40:00.000-05:00

Apparently there wasn't any real evidence against Casey Anthony of foul play in the death of her daughter Caylee. Perhaps the daughter drowned. Perhaps Casey freaked out. Perhaps the extended family was so dysfunctional that she (or they) decided to cover up the death instead of just calling 911; but there was no evidence one way or the other.
---Me, i was a lifeguard for some years and have seen my share of drowning deaths (though fortunately none while i was on duty). People die; it's part of life. We have to move on.
---IMHO, court cases should be private and not made media circuses; it's not reality television. Get over it, people — there was insufficient evidence for a conviction. That's the difference between "the truth" and the legal truth. Move along.

cool as a 酔っぱらい cat

2011-07-02T15:27:00.000-05:00

nervous as a kitten

2011-06-22T12:26:00.002-05:00

heh, feeling nervous as a kitten at a bulldog convention. have been emailing with a professor at Tufts about going there to continue my work in computational consciousness, and it always makes me a little giddy to consult with high-powered profs. like asking someone out on a date (which i've almost never done).

now i just have to get the nerve up to jump back into the academic thing (and pay for it). ugh. oh well, i'm not doing anything else . . . .

chicken soup and the gods

2011-06-13T13:27:00.003-05:00

i've spent the last couple of hours making chicken soup from a chicken carcass, and i've maybe begun to understand why some people act so proudly of their chicken (or turkey) soup.

being a god involves (among other things) taking inert matter—dirt or dust, for all intents & purposes—and making a living being from it: a bird, for instance.

making soup, on the other hand, involves taking a cooked (and therefore deceased) bird and slowly & carefully pulling it apart, bit by bit, until all that's left is . . . well, not quite just dirt or dust, but nasty enough that the soup-maker is ready to toss the lot into the trash with no hesitation. and while pulling the bird carcass apart (and learning more than anyone ever really wanted to know about all the little meaty bits & connective tissues & miscellaneous bony bits), the soup-maker has "created" a pot of delicious (if you like that sort of thing) homemade chicken (or turkey or whatever) soup.

so of course they're going to feel somewhat god-like in the process and be proud of their creation (and expect anyone else who happens to partake of it to give proper thanks).

making soup has given me a little sympathy for the gods, who (understandably) want some praise for their creations, after all the messy work they did.

so have a little sympathy for the soup-makers and for the gods.

and enjoy!

pessimism briefly in the lead

2011-06-01T07:07:00.000-05:00

surprise, surprise: the WHO finally got the cojones to admit that placing a microwave transceiver — a cell phone, for instance — next to your brain for ten years might well give you brain cancer. (as if the years of anecdotes from neurosurgeons about finding cancers right near the cell user's ear of choice weren't enough.)

and sadly, it's probably not the Gen X crowd most at risk; it's kids growing up with cell phones glued to their ears. so they and we will finally switch to using wired ear-pieces and keep the carcinogenic phone in a less sensitive spot (and not near our crotches, i'd hope), climb back into the automobiles robbing us of cardiovascular health, and drive to our jobs sitting in front of computer screens.

at least the toxic CRT screen is mostly a thing of the past. be thankful for small advances. :-)

The "Path To Prosperity" — Just Say No!

2011-05-25T18:13:00.001-05:00

Don't be fooled!

They're Back . . .

2011-05-16T18:25:00.001-05:00

Hooray! The Sox are back in town (and being broadcast on NESN), and Jerry Remy is back announcing after a bout of pneumonia; so no more of me hating Fox or ESPN for their pro-Yankees slant. I suppose i should be more understanding of those (subconsciously) wishing they could live in Red Sox Nation but are (for whatever reasons) unable to make the border-crossing — of course they're going to be hostile and preoccupied with the hapless Yankees.

Yesterday i watched 'Fever Pitch' for the first time, and it brought a real smile to my face. Made me think of my ex- and her ex- (who was a major Red Sox fanatic).

Enjoy the rain, peeps.

Don't Get A Fox Network Lobotomy — Just Turn The Volume To Zero

2011-05-14T20:11:00.001-05:00

Wow, i could not have underestimated how monumentally bad the Fox Network coverage would be of tonight's Red Sox at Yankees game. The announcers are two duds whose names don't even appear on the Fox website (which is too bad, because i gladly would have named them). They just go on and on about nothing; it's like they forget that there's actually a game going on. And then to make matters worse, they have Sarah Silverman make a cameo as a supposedly famous Red Sox fan; only she has even less to say about the Red Sox than the dud announcers (and apparently knows nothing about anything, except how to appear mentally deficient; maybe they drugged her).

And since the Fox Network headquarters is in New York City, it's no surprise that their coverage of the game would be pro-Yankees. But what makes their announcers seem so severely obtunded? Perhaps it's the continuous low grade gamma radiation present in the city combined with the repeated inbreeding of Fox employees that leads to neural degradation. Or perhaps it's that their health insurance offers radical frontal lobotomies with a zero co-pay — New Yorkers are loathe to pass up a bargain.

Do Your Bit for the US Postal Service!

2011-05-10T06:32:00.000-05:00

We all get junk mail, right? Of course. But instead of tossing it in the trash (or recycling it), take out those postage-paid return envelopes and send them back — the Post Office will appreciate the business!

Either send them back empty (boring) or enclose some interesting paper tidbit of your own. After all, the junk mail company went to the trouble of providing you with a little surprise in the mail; why not surprise them back?

Keep the Post Office in business. If junk mailers want to pay for prepaid return envelopes, they must want you to send them back no matter what the contents; let them sponsor some re-investment in our Postal Services.

Ciao!

happy birthday to me!

2011-05-06T18:40:00.000-05:00

C₂H₅OH at Not Your Average Joe's — Blue Moon (Belgian-style) weiss beer — plus Rosemary Skewered Scallops: happy birthday to me! whoo!

(plus plus peanut butter thing joe’s claim to fame – peanut butter and chocolate chunks folded into vanilla ice cream and rolled in oreo cookie crumbs, topped with fresh whipped cream and drizzled with hot chocolate and caramel sauces tableside — YUM!)

now the Sox game; Minnesota at Boston. very mellow.

35 (base 12) years old.

Donald Trump is Democratic Party's Best Friend

2011-04-19T16:43:00.002-05:00

heh, what an interview the Donald had with ABC's George Stephanopoulos!

when George continued to question the foolishness of the Birther issue, Donald (Duck) Trump accused George of having been "co-opted" by "Obama and his minions" — co-opted by Obama and his minions!

LOL!

i think that the Donald is secretly trying to derail the Republican cause; first the hilarious comb-over, and now this! Go, Donald — bring down the Republicans! hahahaha!

------------------[Caption: Republicans, you're FIRED!]

lyrics revelation

2011-04-15T08:27:00.000-05:00

A cooling system
Burns out in the Ukraine
Trees and umbrellas
Protect us from the new rain
Armies of engineers
To analyze the soil
The food we contemplate
The water that we boil
---
i just had a lyrics revelation. (or at least my guess at it.) Paul Simon's song "Can't Run, But" from his 1990 RHYTHM OF THE SAINTS album refers (in part) to the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster. i just got it.

heh, i've got to pay better attention and not let this stuff slip by!
---
[Rhythm of the Saints, "Can't Run But" © 1990, Paul Simon]

Hello, Summer!

2011-04-14T11:05:00.000-05:00

OK, so it's not really summer; but after that winter, it is to me. Opening the windows, prepping the fans, bicycling to the store with ease, and — most of all — being able to wear shorts again. (Although maybe i should wear shorts year round, just with tights during the winter. Hmmmm....)

And . . . the DSM32 Ultimate VA Collection is up and running; it's like having my own personal radio station with all of my favorite songs and a very generous sprinkling of pop stuff from the '50s, '60s, '70s, '80s, '90s, & '00s:

Billy Joel - New York State of Mind; Led Zeppelin - All My Love; Gordon Lightfoot - For Lovin' Me; The Cranberries - Pretty; John Denver - Take Me Home, Country Roads; Bill Haley And His Comets - See You Later Alligator; Little Richard - Jenny Jenny; Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive; Santana - Evil Ways; . . . (to name a few that just played).

Well, at least i'm ready for summer, if a little early. :-D

Enjoy!

Bye-Bye "Tea Party"

2011-04-08T08:25:00.000-05:00

All right, newly elected "Tea Party" Congresspeople, U.S. citizens can now see what you really stand for: inflexible "morality" and unwillingness to participate in politics (otherwise known as the art of compromise). You're not actually interested in fiscal policy. Instead, all you want to do is jam your sadly out-moded values down the throats of U.S. Americans; but we're not swallowing.

At least you won't have to worry about getting re-elected; everyone is seeing what a farce you're making of budgetary issues. Rinse and spit. And thank you for helping insure a second term for Barack Obama.

Bye-Bye!

Feeling Good about Line Dry

2011-03-31T12:27:00.000-05:00

Thank you, Concord Conserves and First Parish for helping motivate me to dry my clothes on a drying rack instead of using the dryer in the basement. I only do one load of laundry each week, and it's really no problem to set up the rack in my kitchen before i go to bed and hang up a washer-full of clothes — and it makes me feel so good!

[here's a link:]
http://www.concordconserves.org/art-action-line-dry-your-clothes

ugh . . .

2011-03-27T18:53:00.000-05:00

i definitely need some friends. i was going to say "new friends", but i don't really have any old friends to replace with new ones. i guess it's what happens when you get married and divorced: you lose contact with your friends to accomplish the former; and because of the latter, people are more hesitant to become friends with you in the first place.

at least i still have Star Treks and Ally McBeal and X-Files, even if i've seen Friends too many times and Seinfeld is too depressing. and someone at church to commiserate with about what wanks my neighbors are (and thank god there's no God at my church, either!). lol. :-D

there's still hope.

Deviloid is terrible compared to PureTnA! BOYCOTT Deviloid!

2011-03-19T18:22:00.000-05:00

heh, i've got to chuckle at how childish & silly the sysops are at Deviloid (a site which has recently gained in popularity after the downfall of the legendary PureTnA). at PureTnA, users had to maintain a mere 0.30 upload to download ratio; at Deviloid, the power-hungry kids running the show demand a 0.90 ratio, plus they're crazy with trying to enforce ultra-conformist torrent naming standards and a new video-preview requirement for video clips (and banning the violators).

i mean, sure, the internet is all about downloading nude photographs & videos — but let's not get all anal retentive about it! i say boycott Deviloid; there are plenty of other places for nudity.

:-D

Rats! the new version of iTunes lets me down

2011-03-04T07:38:00.001-05:00

Waiting for me on my computer this morning was a notification that there was an Apple iTunes 10.2 update available. I click on install and was given the usual License Agreement text to agree to; usually i don't read these too closely, but this time i looked—only one thing really stuck out:

THE APPLE SOFTWARE IS NOT INTENDED FOR USE IN THE OPERATION OF NUCLEAR FACILITIES, AIRCRAFT NAVIGATION OR COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SYSTEMS, LIFE SUPPORT MACHINES OR OTHER EQUIPMENT IN WHICH THE FAILURE OF THE APPLE SOFTWARE COULD LEAD TO DEATH, PERSONAL INJURY, OR SEVERE PHYSICAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE.

Damn it all to hell! All my plans to continue running my secret fission reactor, my air traffic control business, and independent hospital ICU with iTunes are foiled! I thought that was what iTunes was supposed to be used for!

All this stuff with music, isn't that just a side gimmick? Maybe i should have stuck with the old version—it's been handling all the air traffic of Acton International Airport, plus a roomful of coma patients on ventilators. Oh well, maybe Apple will bring those features back in the next version.

Citizens For Better Spam Copy

2011-02-13T12:48:00.001-05:00

Why do pop-up ads on websites start off "THIS IS NOT A JOKE!!! YOU ARE A WINNER!! CLICK HERE FOR...!"

I thought a joke was supposed to be something like:
Q: How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It's a really obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it.

Why don't the pop-up ads start off "THIS IS NOT A SCAM!!!"??? Why don't they?

Who's afraid of a joke? Nobody. People are wary of scams, not jokes.

I think there should be some stimulus money spent on educating those writing spam and pop-up ad copy, so as to annoy the rest of us less. :-)

people

2011-02-08T16:53:00.000-05:00

even though sometimes i miss people, mostly i'm glad to be alone. people can be mean. i like being by myself; i almost always know what to expect from myself. i rock. and i hope that you rock too.

fear

2011-02-06T16:11:00.003-05:00

sometimes i have strong feelings of déjà vu, and they scare me a little. some of the fear is that i'm about to have a seizure—it's one of the signs i've come to recognize as preceding neural difficulties in my own peculiar brain. but a scarier (in a way) possibility is that my life is indeed a closed loop, and that i'm simply playing out a portion of it again.

i just hung up my bicycle from a hook i'd just screwed into an exposed beam in my kitchen, and i had a feeling of déjà vu. now i know that i haven't ever hung up my bicycle in this apartment before; i used to hang it up in the basement of the townhouse i lived in before, but it was a completely different-feeling scenario.

am i about to have a seizure? probably not. is my life a closed loop? i sure hope not. maybe i'm just jumpy from watching Ally McBeal again and missing the way my life felt in the late '90s. who knows.

maybe i'm beginning to move on, and it has me a little unsettled.

Ender's QOTD 2011-02-02 -- yay, Ender!

2011-02-05T09:08:00.000-05:00

e sort fait les parents, la choix fait les amis.
{ Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends }
{ Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends }
-- Jacques Delille, in Malheur at Piti (1803), Canto I

God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.
-- Ethel Watts Mumford

A good friend is my nearest relation.
-- Thomas Fuller

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
-- Euripides

Friends are relatives you make for yourself.
-- Eustache Deschamps

[from Ender's QOTD 2011-01-29:]

2011-02-03T14:36:00.001-05:00

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
-- Elisabeth Foley
... (also attr. Katherine Mansfield)

---

[and true friends are so hard to come by. wish i had some near me now.]

drinking coffee

2011-01-20T08:36:00.000-05:00

camped out at Acton Starbuck's; am so much happier here than at Sweet Bites (and even somewhat happier than at Savoury Lane). like Sweet Bites, you get free coffee refills (w/a registered card); but unlike, the service is friendly, the music lively, and the atmosphere sunny; and most of all, you don't get glared at (or cursed out) for merely drinking coffee. the deal at Savoury Lane is pretty nice too, but you do have to pay a bit more for the coffee (i.e., no free refills); the bonus is that it's fifty-yard-walk away instead of an icy mile down Rt 111 on my bicycle.

but today it's sunny & bright out, so i made the trip. tomorrow it's forecast to snow again, so i'll go local.

here's to coffee drinking, both corporate and local! :-D

part of my cultural DNA :-)

2011-01-18T15:58:00.001-05:00

just watched the 'Ally McBeal' pilot — wow, that brings me back a million years! (well, maybe fourteen.) for the time, it was a hell of a show; even now, it's a lot better than most of what's new on TV. who cares if i'm just a sucker for Calista Flockhart (and the rest); it's part of my cultural DNA now.

so be it. on to the next episode.

:-)

shell-shocked

2011-01-17T13:42:00.000-05:00

feeling a little shell-shocked. watched 'Field of Dreams' just now. haven't seen it in more than twenty years. probably didn't think much of it then; guess i was more concerned with the woman i went to see it with. these days my perspective on hearing "the voice" makes the movie seem very sad. i wish it didn't hurt so much sometimes, life. feels like i'll be in mourning forever.

mmm . . . massage for a new year

2011-01-13T09:34:00.000-05:00

have taken refuge in Savoury Lane (since Sweet Bites is now verboten for me), and the atmosphere here is SO much more peaceful and calm. the only thing i have to remember is to bring a chair-pad next time. (and the music is so much better here, too.)

and being at Savoury Lane gets me in the mood to give a good massage to someone.

feels great to be putting out joyful energy into the universe again!

new year

2011-01-01T21:15:00.000-05:00

wondering what to resolve for the new year . . .

to be more mindful of choosing to do things which help people and also help the planet.

to spend less time worrying about life and more time living.

to find love again. (you know what i mean. :-)

---

what are you thinking about for the new year?

Snowing, s-n-o-w-i-n-g, s-n--o---w----i-----n------g

2010-12-26T17:22:00.001-05:00

wow, a wintery blast out there. went out for a walk and was glad i hadn't waited till later — it was already pretty bad. looks a lot better from behind my front windows. (and some wine and a Star Trek Voyager episode help, too.)

came across a treasure-trove of ebooks today — four thousand seven hundred twelve, to be exact — but had more difficulty finding a way to read them. (they're in a .mobi format, and Macs aren't the best for free readers.) but i found some freeware called calibre that did the trick.

heh, just what i need — more books. :-)

bravo Congress! DADT repealed!

2010-12-18T18:14:00.000-05:00

Whoo Hoo! the U.S. Senate has voted to end the 'Don't Ask; Don't Tell' policy in the military! (the House has already approved such a measure.)

hooray progress!

rainy sun day

2010-12-12T21:46:00.000-05:00

tears are still drying from watching 'Leap Year'; better than yesterday after 'Kissing Jessica Stein' since by it i'm not driven towards being a lesbian (which you *know* i'd have trouble with). makes me want to go to Ireland, though, and that has its own level of sadness. at least i still feel alive, crying or no.

much love to all the mates.

happy days,
D.

from Ender's QOTD 2010-11-22

2010-11-28T17:56:00.002-05:00

Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love.
Love is not music. Music is the best!
-- Frank Zappa, in Joe's Garage

[rock on! getting close to a new month, and even a new year — time for embracing changes and getting on with life! whoo-hoo!]

good evening from Sweet Bites

2010-11-18T16:42:00.002-05:00

mellowing out in a soft chair at the coolio café near my new apartment. muscles sore from a day of loading & unloading furniture into & out of a U-Haul van, after a late night of packing and preparing to say "good-bye" to one place and "hello" to another.

big furniture delivery tomorrow—sofa, recliner, cocktail tables, TV stand, mattress & boxspring, and a pub table & chairs—yay!. home at last. and it culminates more than a week of gracious help, care, and support with and through the whole moving process from my best friend & primary decorating consultant, Barb: thank you, thank you, thank you!

thank Thor for ibuprofen, right? 800 milligrams thrice per day gets us mortals through.

sun has set before 5pm; night is falling. two bottles of Snapple empty on the table next to me. Peach Mangosteen Immunity & Noni Berry Refresh. time to go home.

Margarita's, Framingham, opening night

2010-11-16T19:51:00.005-05:00

to the woman in Margarita's on opening night (16 November 2010): hello, i just wanted to buy you a Corona. i didn't want your number. i didn't want your name. you waved to me on my way out and said hello, and that was enough. i thought you were pretty, and i wanted to buy you a drink. that was all. enjoy!

home stretch

2010-11-06T21:08:00.004-05:00

thank you, universe, for revealing my new place to live. i will take life in a series of sweet bites now, if you'll pardon the insider's pun.

c'mon, café paradise! coming to the home stretch now . . . almost there.

i asked and i received. sometimes life rocks! yay, world; yay, people.

ready for sanctuary

2010-10-24T12:33:00.003-05:00

quiet afternoon of Steely Dan, Sade, Boston, and Dire Straits crooning away in a private serenade.

watched How To Train Your Dragon last night. good stuff of striving toward tolerance and non-violence.

c'mon, universe — reveal to me my new place to live. (and also, i hope, my new place to love and to laugh). i'm ready. show me sanctuary.

---

[and a delicious side note in my video wanderings: a lovely cameo of 'Lucrezia' by none other than Marina Sirtis (who was Counselor Deanna Troi on Star Trek: The Next Generation) in The Six Napoleons, an episode of THE RETURN OF SHERLOCK HOLMES, 1984 by Granada Television, starring of course the incomparable Jeremy Brett.

yay, people!]

sunshine in rain

2010-10-06T09:10:00.002-05:00

i think of you
and i go on.
listen to raindrops
drip down outside.
don't really care
what zip code you're in,
just where you reside,
so long as you're there.
comfort during pain,
pools of laughter
cure a sorrow drought.
i can sometimes feel
sunshine in rain,
love after loss,
always tomorrow
come dreck and dross.
say what you must;
hold onto the real.
pray no sin, no lust.
another day gone.
another day new.

relaxed and calm

2010-10-02T14:42:00.003-05:00

heh, just watched 'Last Action Hero' -- very amusing! (and guy who wrote 'Lethal Weapon' was a co-screenwriter -- coolness!)

then another 'Friends' episode. comforting.

and now more lame duck Red Sox action, but at least it's with the Yankees.

i look around me here and think Home at last. it feels good, very relaxed and calm.

better off

2010-10-01T18:14:00.003-05:00

and boom, what do you know? i was right: today was a better day!

today puts me five grand in the green, and a hell of a lot less stress & sleeplessness.

i'm relaxed and comfortable. i'm all set. sure, i'm here for the duration; but i'm not in for a big time freak-out. soothing, soothing, soothing.

thank you, life. i do love you.

bad day

2010-09-30T13:35:00.002-05:00

oh, i'm having a bad day. nothing that a few drinks and a few episodes of Friends won't make me blurry over, but still very very bad. i hate making changes in my life and not knowing what's really going on. why can't i still be eighteen and still going off to college to make all those mistakes again for the first time? why do i instead have to be forty and my life in shambles all around me? i guess that's just the way things are.

maybe i just have to think of myself as only being nineteen -- as living a second life, starting in 1991 -- and go on and live the way i've wanted to. Barb's right . . . i am a wuss. but it's my life, and i'll go on and live it the way i want.

tomorrow will be a better day.

Emerson Hospital ER is the worst in the USA!

2010-09-24T20:51:00.002-05:00

well, maybe not the absolute very worst . . . but pretty damned close.

my friend was denied admission to the Behavioral Health Unit (which treats mental illness) tonight because, after being kept waiting for five and a half hours, she wasn't all deferential and polite to the charge "nurse." (perhaps the 'charge nurse' title derives from the fact that they paid for their "degree" with a charge card.) my friend was ill, and therefore she was refused treatment.

what a great hospital! recommend it to all your friends whom you wish to receive shitty treatment.

i was really tempted to call in a bomb threat to the ER just to inconvenience the hell out of them, as they did to us. but there weren't any convenient phone booths around from which to call in the bomb threat. man, i MISS phone booths. heh. :-D

and now i'm going to write "Emerson Hospital" five hundred times to attract attention when people do a web search for it:

Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson 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(OK, maybe it was a few times more than 500.)

a sad day

2010-08-26T06:31:00.002-05:00

we're in mourning here; overnight, a beloved (and somewhat crazed :-) member of our family has died. Angel, one of our two-year-old parakeets, won't be falling off of perches or flying into walls anymore. She's in a better place now. Perhaps Aruba. farewell, birdie . . . .

OK, so it's all a lie: life actually does suck

2010-08-24T20:53:00.002-05:00

hey, peeps,
---i'm tired of putting on a happy face. the thing is, i'm really depressed; i just don't know how to express it except through depressing posts like this one, and that does no one any good. too bad; it's all i've got right now. ttyl.

D

from Ender's QOTD: 2010-07-23

2010-08-23T10:29:00.002-05:00

Better to write for yourself and have no public,
than to write for the public and have no self.
-- Cyril Connolly

[i'm still around, just catching my breath. almost have 'the stereo' set up properly so i can have some music the right way again. the parakeets are staying with me at the moment, and it's been a pleasant reunion. having to force myself to spend some time putting stuff away, lest i disappear in the chaos of my room. ;-) programming is next on the agenda.]

whatever the season

2010-08-13T07:40:00.002-05:00

so, peeps, you're still looking at my blog (even though i write something here next to never); thank you for that. really, though, you should catch my nom de plume at http://ConcordLove.blogspot.com because at least there's a new entry every day.

the summer continues, and the annual spin slowly begins to tilt towards autumn. enjoy every day is the only advice that i care much for anymore, whatever the season. i'm rambling . . . must be time for some lovin' . . . .

be well; keep cool.

new blog, Brandeis University (trying to rip me off)

2010-08-02T15:14:00.004-05:00

hey, peeps.
go to http://BrandeisScam.blogspot.com/ if you want to read about my experience with Brandeis University. they're such scum. (the link is at the top of my LINKS list.)

Derek

i like opera, except for the singing ;-)

2010-08-01T12:01:00.002-05:00

bicycled to my UU church in Concord this morning -- these summer services sure are a mixed bag. the soprano soloist was somewhat painful to listen to (for me), and the whole service was a little too traditional for my taste; but i had a lovely conversation with Dorothy during coffee hour, and that made it all worthwhile.

perhaps i just wasn't in the mood to go to a service at all; perhaps i should have just gone for coffee on Main Street instead, and i still could have gone to coffee hour after the service. but i'll accept the experience as a needed lesson for my patience and tolerance. the church is still a work in progress, and now that i'm a member i can take a more active role helping determine in what direction it goes.

ciao, peeps!

from Ender's QOTD: [et cetera]

2010-07-28T10:18:00.001-05:00

You cannot change your destination overnight,
but you can change your direction overnight.
-- Jim Rohn

[just keep changing, peeps; don't let's stagnate!]

make jazz, not war

2010-07-20T16:03:00.003-05:00

Chuck Mangione and John Coltrane blowin' trumpet & sax, keeping me company on a warm Tuesday afternoon. Tiu, god of war, is on vacation; Tiu's days are now appointed jazz days; forget this whole war thing, anyway.

maybe if Tiu had AC in his room he wouldn't be so warlike. and more plants; if he was watering plants, maybe he wouldn't want war. watch some Gilligan's Island reruns, play some video games, and get down tonight.

it's too hot for aggression. let's just chill.

concord, not discord :-D

2010-07-17T08:57:00.003-05:00

ah, out for an early morning walk, before the heat of the day. only past the cornfield and vegetable patch to the old rifle range and back, but outside nonetheless. the local posse of crows patrolling the area and caw-caw-cawing to all the world; a few joggers and bicyclers out too, along with us walkers. morning peace.

now on to the day.

move din

2010-07-09T07:17:00.002-05:00

all right, after a month of floating i'm finally here.

---

books . . . good (or good enough for the moment).

electronics . . . good, efficient.

plants . . . good, homey.

pictures . . . beautiful.

bed . . . still a little slidy on the floor, but getting there.

ceiling fan & AC . . . blessings to help get through the heat wave.

back yard . . . very appealing for when it cools off a tiny bit.

nearby nature areas . . . waiting to be explored.

---

it's great to be home!

moving daze

2010-07-01T15:34:00.002-05:00

all moved in to the new house share (or at least all my possessions are there, in a big mess) and relaxing now back in Barb's basement -- she totally helped me move, driving the U-Haul van et cetera, and bought me lovely housewarming gifts too; she's the best.

ah, the new world order. . . .

. . . but my body longs for home

2010-06-26T10:04:00.002-05:00

[bakery brook]

happy ending again

2010-06-26T09:46:00.003-05:00

ok, so we're getting somewhere on the happy ending again.

maybe the heroes will make it in the end
and not need to go their separate ways.

salvation where you find it.

we are all truly one.

still take care.

live; love.

forgive.

happy ending

2010-06-14T19:47:00.003-05:00

there is no happy ending, except that which we make for ourselves.

don't expect the heroes of the story to re-unite;
they usually just go their separate ways.

find your own salvation.

rely on yourself.

take care.

live.

my soul is at the beach . . .

2010-06-13T20:40:00.002-05:00

[i just wish my allergies weren't so bad on Cape Cod!]

the end is the beginning

2010-06-13T19:03:00.002-05:00

change is inevitable; roll with it!

three parakeets are crazier than two -- and definitely have more fun than one. (the newest member of the family, Wasabi -- AKA Mustard Seed -- has now picked up the vocalizations and habits of Coral and Angel; they're a happy trio!)

enjoy life; nothing else matters!

ugh, maybe the end . . .

2010-05-11T14:15:00.003-05:00

. . . the end of my office.

rats! i really liked having one, but things change. maybe i'll like having a new apartment too. and a new town. already have a new church, and some new friends.

out with the old, in with the new.

plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

office update

2010-04-13T09:34:00.002-05:00

heh, have been so busy enjoying my new space that i didn't even think to blog about it. getting pictures hung, strange music played, and bookshelves arranged -- my home away from home.

so cool having all my "work" stuff in one place; now i actually get some "work" done! really, it's the most glorious sort of play for me; but i'm happy to bow to convention and call it work.

mmm, maybe getting time to slope over to Trader Joe's for some lunch munchies . . . .

the office

2010-03-25T13:35:00.002-05:00

i've never had an office, but i soon will!

"Time to go to the office," i'll soon get to say. "Where's Derek? Oh, he's at the office," my wife will say to nonexistent callers.

"I gave at the office." will become my reply for unsolicited money-seekers.

reading, writing, research: my three office Rs. (plus video games, movies, and music.)

yay, office!

whew!

2010-03-05T18:17:00.002-05:00

my brain is drained. packing up my possessions sucks!

i miss love, i miss companionship. i just want a warm place for me and the birdies!

how many milk crates do i actually have? a lot.

trying to weed out uninteresting books and such.

carrying heavy boxes up the stairs -- whew!

typing . . .

2010-02-10T14:53:00.001-05:00

Over the river and through the woods . . .

2010-01-26T17:48:00.003-05:00

. . . to Nashoba Brook Bakery we go!

less meadow, more brook, and new snow!

2010-01-19T08:53:00.002-05:00

this is also from yesterday; haven't been out today in the even newer snow for more pictures.

brook meadow with new snow

2010-01-19T08:51:00.001-05:00

this is from yesterday morning; more snow right now!

less meadow, more brook

2010-01-09T14:16:00.003-05:00

also from this morning's walk.

out for a morning walk . . .

2010-01-09T10:22:00.001-05:00

a brook-meadow near our house.

Third time pays for all!

2009-11-11T13:20:00.002-05:00

yay! finally got Yellow Dog Linux (ver. 6.2) to install on our PS3! turned the video-game master system into a fully-fledged computer! (and it only took three tries.)

(turned out the problem with my first two attempts was the version of Toast i'd used to burn the install dvd.)

for programming, it has Java & Python & Perl, along with C and C++; then it also includes a whole slough of office & productivity software, plus stuff for a web server. 1098 software packages & components to install!

no more being limited to software-development-slacking on my iBook; now i can do it on our 40" HD tv!

In Through The Small Door

2009-11-09T07:06:00.003-05:00

ok, so we've got the giant desk down through the bulkhead into the basement corridor leading to our apartment (with Paul's help), and Barb & i have now slid/pulled/pushed the behemoth all the way down to our doorway.

but it looks too big to fit through (or rather the doorway is too small); the desk has four short carved legs on the corners, but it also has two additional legs in the middle for extra support.

and despite all kinds of wiggling, jiggling, and other spatial niggling, it simply cannot fit through the doorway! (even with the door taken off the hinges) we can get it in past the outer legs, but not the inner.

i really don't want to lose those extra legs in the middle of the desk; but they're the only things preventing the desk moving through the doorway. so i take out the screws that seem to be holding the extra legs in place, but the legs still don't budge. maybe they're glued in. my wife has gone upstairs by now; she maybe doesn't want to watch the coming emergency surgery.

i'd hate to have to saw off those legs and then later have to try to reattach them, but i see little other choice. where's our hand saw? in the end i resort to the last refuge of the frustrated man -- i give one leg a good solid thump; maybe i can knock the damned things loose.

and it does give a tiny little bit. i thump it again. again, a little movement; but the whole inside lower edge of the chair-hole also moves. can i take out the leg without ripping apart the desk itself?

after a few more solid thumps (and cracking off some molding around the leg), it begins to wiggle a little and then grudgingly slides out of its socket like a bad tooth under pressure. success!

now, can i do the same thing to the other inside leg, or will my luck run out? i offer a quick prayer to the powers that be and begin whacking the other leg. it seems more solidly anchored, but with repeated whacks (and prying off the molding) it too begins to yield; finally, it slides out. whoo hoo!!!

now i can jiggle-step the up-ended monster desk through the doorway (while i'm also praying the neighbors won't complain to the management about all the whacking), and i slowly navigate it (after re-inserting the extra legs and adding new screws) into place in our basement office; it's like steering the Titanic to its berth (instead of sending it through the North Atlantic).

i put the glass top back on (with some help from the best wife ever), and it's finished (except for removing the white paint and restoring the rich wood)! my first gargantuan desk, hooray!

(although that probably means that i have to actually get something DONE at it. oh well; back to "work".)

Best Desk Day -- thank you Paul!!!

2009-11-07T07:27:00.003-05:00

yesterday, the mrs & i were making our usual Friday consignment shop rounds, beginning of course at Table To Teapots. i went in and looked at the bargain rack: nothing. then, nearby, i see this enormous white desk.

white desk, i think, i don't want a white desk. but it was pretty nice -- huge like a piano (with carved legs and everything) and it was topped with a giant sheet of furniture glass. i had to go over and look.

on closer inspection, it's only white because someone slapped on a fast coat of white paint; underneath, it's a dark wood. the price? $49. forty-nine dollars! i remove the price sticker (the way of laying claim to a large item), just in case i might be interested.

i walk away. start back at the asian & antiques end of the store, closer to the entrance. do i really need a desk? the desks we have are enough, aren't they?

but a few minutes later, i'm back at the desk; it's too good of a price to ignore. now i'm opening the extra-long drawers of this gargantua. small drawers on the left, and some large drawer/slide thing on the right inside the right side is a metal tag: Property of / RAYTHEON / MFG Co / 16207.

it's a Raytheon desk! whoo hoo!

figuring out the spring mechanism, i pull out the giant drawer; and it suddenly slides up and locks into place as a right-angle extension on the right side of the desk.

my wife, also looking at this and that, sees i'm clearly smitten. "We have to buy that, you know," she says, smiling. (not that we really have any room for it in our basement offices; but we'll make room.) now we just have to get it home.

then a man comes up to me; he's been looking at some antique-looking wash-stand (a hoosier, my wife tells me, a free-standing kitchen cabinet). "Do you work here?" he asks.

no, i answer; and then he tell me that his wife has him picking up the cabinet he's been looking for. i know that the consignment store staff aren't supposed to help people move furniture, so i offer to help him move the piece out to his car.

my wife comes back; she's made a call with a friend who can maybe help us in a few days. a store worker comes up and asks if we're going to buy the desk; my wife says yes.

the guy i'm helping looks at the giant desk and says, "Where do you guys live?" we say nearby, and he offers to give us a ride in the panel van he's rented. he says his name is Paul.

instant salvation! i love this town!

as we load the stuff into his van, my wife goes across the street and buys a box of yummy pastries for a thank you gift. we make the trip across town, and he even helps me carry the desk down the bulkhead stairs.

thank you Paul!

---

[next post: how i got the darned thing into our basement]

Hooray! Autumn is here!

2009-11-04T10:05:00.002-05:00

Chill is in the morning air; the just-past-Full moon hangs in the crisply blue sky; and the snowbirds are starting to head South & West. Can hardly wait for the first real snow; love the change in seasons!

family stuff

2009-11-03T11:36:00.003-05:00

wow, i never knew how hard family stuff would be -- how difficult to handle. i just had no idea.

i'm not saying it's not worth it; i'm just saying that i was unprepared.

thank gods that i had as much time as i did to grow up (a little) myself before starting off on this journey.

November cheer

2009-11-02T16:15:00.003-05:00

now i remember November -- coldish, dark early, and somewhat grey-looking out.

even our normally cheery parakeets seem somewhat subdued this afternoon.

maybe a steaming cup of steaming hot chocolate would help (me)!

cheers!

hey, peeps.

2009-11-01T07:30:00.005-05:00

happy November, all.

did we all survive another Halloween?
have we recovered from diabetic comas?
(or at least most of us?) close enough.

now for the nightmare before Christmas. :-D

to enjoy life . . .

2009-10-31T13:21:00.003-05:00

All I ever wanted,
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms.

Words are very
Unneccessary.
They can only do harm.

- Depeche Mode, 'Enjoy The Silence'

quiet home; quiet life

2009-10-29T19:42:00.002-05:00

mmm, feels like i'm getting old. gettin' on toward bedtime, and the house is quiet. the birds are calmly munching seed in a clean cage; everyone is satisfied.

another good day.

g'nite all.

lure and allure

2009-10-26T07:18:00.002-05:00

guess i don't need a Master's Degree in Computational Linguistics after all. the lure and allure of Brandeis University won me (briefly) over; but what turned out in the end to be the wisdom of my wife (and life) helped me see what i really needed and wanted to do.

so i guess it's back to writing games in Java and not so much Cognitive Linguistics (though still probably a little).

now there's time for a little more reading -- yay!

time - life

2009-10-25T20:08:00.003-05:00

time to watch 'When Harry Met Sally' again.

when life is particularly difficult, return to what makes you feel most alive; return to love.

yay, life!

Smaug lands

2009-10-25T18:49:00.003-05:00

human suffering -- we sure all know a lot about that now, don't we.

what's more terrible than a fire-breathing dragon? a miserable person who spreads misery to everyone around them; at least with the dragon, it's usually over quickly.

what's more challenging than finding one's path in life? sticking to that path once its found.

anybody out there know of any good suspended-animation facilities?

:-/

Smaug flying over the moon (w/strings attached)

2009-10-25T14:48:00.004-05:00

Took this in South Yarmouth, MA, this past August.

Newcomb Hollow gull, Wellfleet, MA

2009-09-23T06:51:00.002-05:00

[This was taken during our (slightly early) 1st anniversary celebration. Yay, beach!]

sunset clouds

2009-09-02T20:41:00.003-05:00

another recent pic from my Facebook page.

[CLICK ON IMAGE TO MAGNIFY]

local chipmunk, Chuck

2009-09-02T20:39:00.001-05:00

[CLICK ON IMAGE TO MAGNIFY]

Seldom bother to voice strong opinions.

2009-07-31T13:27:00.002-05:00

It's rarely worth all the grief you'll get. (heh ;-)

F the Cambridge Police

2009-07-24T06:07:00.006-05:00

i just heard (in a televised phone interview) Officer Crowley (of the Cambridge Police, who arrested Professor Gates) say (in reference to arresting Gates on his own property) "I treat everyone the same."

ok, so maybe he's not a rascist; maybe he's just a shitty cop.

how would you like it if you can't say what you want on your own property (to a cop or to anyone) -- that you might be arrested for it?

maybe the gun people are right -- maybe more people should carry guns and not let the police (who all carry guns themselves) push us around so much.

[at least i can still say what i want on my blog. hopefully i won't have to some up with bail.]

blog vs Facebook

2009-07-22T21:03:00.002-05:00

have been Facebooking a lot lately; no blog entries. much more social & small-talkish, but hey; who am i to blow against the wind? ;-)

parakeets quiet tonight. fresh seed and water. little do they know their impending changes. (more later.)

happy summer, all.

goodbye, bad Miss California; hello, good!

2009-06-11T06:34:00.004-05:00

yay! --Donald Trump finally gets rid of Carrie Prejean as Miss California and welcomes Tami Farrell into the position.

turns out it was her unwillingness to perform contractual obligations that got her canned, rather than her gross prejudices (blanket opposition to gay marriage) or racy modeling photos; but i say 'good riddance to bad rubbish' anyway.

here's a NY Times link:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/11/us/11pageant.html?ref=global-home

---

(you see, I'M somewhat prejudiced against people with such outspoken prejudices; and i'm also unwilling to be silent and not say 'hah, hah' when they get their comeuppance. c'est dommage.)

hooray New Hampshire!

2009-06-03T17:00:00.002-05:00

another same-sex marriage triumph! phooey on prejudice and discrimination; c'mon, the rest of you states -- get with it!

Americans Idle

2009-05-21T06:18:00.005-05:00

boo on conservative viewers (or weak-minded, church-obeying sheep) who voted for Kris Allen (because he seemed more conventional), when Adam Lambert is clearly the superior vocalist.

oh well; what should we expect from a country who twice elected George W despite his complicity in war crimes (and just obvious general stupidity and lack of wit)? not much, i guess.

at least Lambert won't be saddled with that dreadful 'song' that Kara helped create (which the winner will have to put on his first album, due to contractual obligations).

maybe Lambert will perform some shows with the remaining Queen members and revive some of Freddie Mercury's sadly missed vocal showmanship & talent.

good luck and good wishes to Adam Lambert!

hooray for Maine!

2009-05-06T12:59:00.003-05:00

yay, Maine becomes the fifth state to legalize gay marriage -- and it's my birthday too! yay world!

hah hah, gay marriage nay-sayers. and hah hah, Miss California (with the breast augmentations paid for by the Miss California pageant people to help her compete in the Miss USA contest).

may traditional marriage go the way of the rule of thumb.

who the hell is Steve Harvey?

2009-04-16T07:12:00.002-05:00

i've just been listening to an interview with him on Good Morning America. WHAT A MAN-HATING ASSHOLE!

he claims that men can only love women in three ways (the three Ps): Profess, Provide, Protect. to me it's complete crap!

ok, maybe not COMPLETE crap, but still crap. maybe a lot of men do fall into that category; but certainly not ALL of them. (at least not the ones worth being with. i think that any man who's only capable of the three Ps is a worthless piece of shit.)

whenever i hear people having such low expectations of men, all i can think is that they haven't made much real effort to meet decent ones.

ugh. don't get me wrong -- i'm still not much of a man fan, but i also believe that low expectations will lead you to low men.

Hooray Vermont! Gay marriage!

2009-04-07T17:56:00.003-05:00

(And Iowa, Connecticut, & Massachusetts of course.)

Now just 46 more states to go!

if i'd had a son instead of a step-daughter . . .

2009-03-27T10:10:00.005-05:00

no no == yes yes

2009-03-26T16:03:00.003-05:00

I will not promise not to have double negatives.

Programming is fun!

Having a family is work, but also fun.

:-)

(And I got new tubes & tires for my bicycle; yay cycling!)

hey, peoples . . .

2009-03-03T06:43:00.003-05:00

so, are we all still in shock from the continuing economic meltdown? convinced now (finally) that there isn't any solidity to any financial stuff anymore? good, now time to get on with it -- the post-economic life, that is.

get ready, i say, for continuing government takeovers & ownerships of previously private endeavor. creeping communism, basically. it's not such a bad thing, considering what horrors big insurance & finance are. get ready (finally) for the end of the "American Dream", i'm afraid. (and with it, the end of the wealthy class.)

maybe we have some time before things really crumble -- possibly even ten or twenty years. or perhaps we have six months or a year unless we make some radical changes.

i guess it's time for humanity to grow up and stop being obsessed with acquiring material possessions. what's left? learning and self-improvement. read a book. learn to paint, or how to play the guitar. have fun! :-)

feeling like a kid again

2008-12-28T20:42:00.004-05:00

really smiled when i ran across a scan of this picture (Wellfleet harbor, 1972) the other day. it reminded me how much i've been feeling like a kid again lately, what with my new life in Acton with my new family.

because wasn't that what being a kid was all about? experiencing new stuff? (and having awe and wonder and general joy?) i'm still loving it.

happy new year, everyone!