Lederer quote

Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? ... You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it out. English was invented by people, not computers . . . . That is why when the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible and why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this poem it ends.

[Lederer, R. 1990. CRAZY ENGLISH. New York. Pocket Books.]

home again

ah, nothing like being away to make me appreciate being home again. (and telephone, television, & video games too -- yay!)

---

some nights falling to sleep were a struggle. dreams fragmented their way into my consciousness; and too often i found i was fighting against something, pushing or pulling, until i would wake suddenly, bristling with fear and adrenaline.

other nights were more calm, and i would drift away into forgetful bliss.

---

[more bliss these days; not so many struggles (which were years ago and seem like a distant memory now).]

yule tree & 'if we want to'

[heh, more snow this morning; they'd better not close school tonight -- i have a final!]
---
madness and insanity -- they're really not that far away from us at any time; instead, they exist in close parallel to our sanity and rationality, and it doesn't take much to nudge some of us into them.

indeed, we can sometimes pass into those worlds, live in them for a time, and pass back into sanity again. sometimes not unscathed; and almost never unchanged.

but we *can* come back, usually. if we really want to.

ice & sun

A rainbow-fringe-producing wisp of cloud in the winter sky,
and i don't have my camera;
instead i must capture it with my heart.
Over the years, i've fared far better with clouds and moon
than with romantic love and fellow humans
whose art i never mastered (and seldom felt).
Ice-clad branches glow white in the morning sun,
and i sometimes feel the frozen sheath
around my love (and possibly melt).
---
[the above pic was from my back window in the late afternoon, not from Starbuck's where i watched & wrote about the wisp of cloud in the morning. and don't click on it -- it won't enlarge much. :-) ]

snow flash

heh, deploy the flash, Sulu. What do you think, Mr Spock?

at least no traffic jam today. am slightly tempted to slog through the woods down the hill and over the reservoir to Starbuck's this morning on foot, but only slightly.

very pretty out the window.

snow morning

yester my heart went out to all the drivers stuck on the roads in the midst of the mess. (heh, and this morning i'll try on bicycle to get to Starbuck's and the gym -- wish me luck.)

maybe the storm was for the best: i couldn't get my Java homework to work (something about the way i was passing arrays to a method), but there was a snow closure at the school and i was off the hook.

'The Piano' again

wow. just watched 'The Piano' again after a long time of not having seen. remembered why i liked it so much in the first place, why i identified so closely with. an old friend. sad, but made me feel good, sorta.

the gift of a dead bird

[ from NO ONE BELONGS HERE MORE THAN YOU
- by Miranda July;
- "The Man On The Stairs", p.34 ]
---
. . . We both fantasize about other people when we're having sex, but he likes to tell me who the other people are, and I don't. Why should I? It's my own private business. It's not my fault he gets off on having me know. He likes to report it the second he comes, like a cat presenting the gift of a dead bird. I never asked for it.

mostly

mostly i just like the *ideas* of things -- love, romance, the ocean, the beach, sailing, mathematics, et cetera.
when i have to deal with the realities of those same things, i never enjoy them quite as much as i did when they were just ideas.
it's why i love reading & watching videos so much -- they're sufficiently removed from reality for me.

Starbuck's sightings

women in tights,
men in Ferraris,
driving their machines
under shining lights.

gas guzzlers apologize,
mumbling their "sorry"s;
whispering through scenes,
hybrids economize.

tomorrows never die,
though murdered every day;
politicians never lie,
and pigs all fly away.

red dawn

pulled the screens off my front windows and snapped some beauty sunrise cloud pictures yestermorn. makes me feel good to be alive.

"A death in the family"

i didn't have time to say:
"Since you brought it up, may i ask who died?"
- and -
"Best efforts writing your business paper."
- and -
"I hope to see you again at Borders sometime."

[insert emotional adjective here]

heh, getting stuck in front of the tv watching some [insert emotional adjective here] movie, i'm just the kind of sucker Hallmark is looking for. (except i don't buy their cards.) but fiction, i'll sometimes give that a go. after all, i *live* for fiction.

i enjoy having some buttons pushed, even if the outcome is somewhat predictable. romantic love is another one i enjoy; it's like having an idealistic twelve-year-old grabbing hold of the controls to your heart & life and making you do the most crazy foolish things. the stuff of life.

again

snow and rain
love and pain
tears inspired
alone again.

clouds and sun
sleep and fun
brain is tired
work is done.

---

[heh, me work?]

beauty

where do you see beauty in your life?

i sat yestermorn at Starbuck's, watching the most beautiful (and ephemeral) wisps of clouds forming and dissolving in the clear blue sky.

beauty where you find it.