more Annie Dillard

[the next paragraph from AN AMERICAN CHILDHOOD, p11.]

I woke in bits, like all children, piecemeal over the years. I discovered myself and the world, and forgot them, and discovered them again. I woke at intervals until, by that September when Father went down the river, the intervals of waking tipped the scales, and i was more often awake than not. I noticed this process of waking, and predicted with terrifying logic that one of these years not far away I would be awake continuously and never slip back, and never be free of myself again.

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i'm afraid that some people don't ever wake to their lives very much -- it's easier not to; sometimes it's frightening to be self-aware and responsible for your own actions.