Thursday, September 30, 2010

bad day

oh, i'm having a bad day. nothing that a few drinks and a few episodes of Friends won't make me blurry over, but still very very bad. i hate making changes in my life and not knowing what's really going on. why can't i still be eighteen and still going off to college to make all those mistakes again for the first time? why do i instead have to be forty and my life in shambles all around me? i guess that's just the way things are.

maybe i just have to think of myself as only being nineteen -- as living a second life, starting in 1991 -- and go on and live the way i've wanted to. Barb's right . . . i am a wuss. but it's my life, and i'll go on and live it the way i want.

tomorrow will be a better day.

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