ready for sanctuary

quiet afternoon of Steely Dan, Sade, Boston, and Dire Straits crooning away in a private serenade.

watched How To Train Your Dragon last night. good stuff of striving toward tolerance and non-violence.

c'mon, universe — reveal to me my new place to live. (and also, i hope, my new place to love and to laugh). i'm ready. show me sanctuary.

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[and a delicious side note in my video wanderings: a lovely cameo of 'Lucrezia' by none other than Marina Sirtis (who was Counselor Deanna Troi on Star Trek: The Next Generation) in The Six Napoleons, an episode of THE RETURN OF SHERLOCK HOLMES, 1984 by Granada Television, starring of course the incomparable Jeremy Brett.

yay, people!]

sunshine in rain

i think of you
and i go on.
listen to raindrops
drip down outside.
don't really care
what zip code you're in,
just where you reside,
so long as you're there.
comfort during pain,
pools of laughter
cure a sorrow drought.
i can sometimes feel
sunshine in rain,
love after loss,
always tomorrow
come dreck and dross.
say what you must;
hold onto the real.
pray no sin, no lust.
another day gone.
another day new.

relaxed and calm

heh, just watched 'Last Action Hero' -- very amusing! (and guy who wrote 'Lethal Weapon' was a co-screenwriter -- coolness!)

then another 'Friends' episode. comforting.

and now more lame duck Red Sox action, but at least it's with the Yankees.

i look around me here and think Home at last. it feels good, very relaxed and calm.

better off

and boom, what do you know? i was right: today was a better day!

today puts me five grand in the green, and a hell of a lot less stress & sleeplessness.

i'm relaxed and comfortable. i'm all set. sure, i'm here for the duration; but i'm not in for a big time freak-out. soothing, soothing, soothing.

thank you, life. i do love you.

bad day

oh, i'm having a bad day. nothing that a few drinks and a few episodes of Friends won't make me blurry over, but still very very bad. i hate making changes in my life and not knowing what's really going on. why can't i still be eighteen and still going off to college to make all those mistakes again for the first time? why do i instead have to be forty and my life in shambles all around me? i guess that's just the way things are.

maybe i just have to think of myself as only being nineteen -- as living a second life, starting in 1991 -- and go on and live the way i've wanted to. Barb's right . . . i am a wuss. but it's my life, and i'll go on and live it the way i want.

tomorrow will be a better day.

Emerson Hospital ER is the worst in the USA!

well, maybe not the absolute very worst . . . but pretty damned close.

my friend was denied admission to the Behavioral Health Unit (which treats mental illness) tonight because, after being kept waiting for five and a half hours, she wasn't all deferential and polite to the charge "nurse." (perhaps the 'charge nurse' title derives from the fact that they paid for their "degree" with a charge card.) my friend was ill, and therefore she was refused treatment.

what a great hospital! recommend it to all your friends whom you wish to receive shitty treatment.

i was really tempted to call in a bomb threat to the ER just to inconvenience the hell out of them, as they did to us. but there weren't any convenient phone booths around from which to call in the bomb threat. man, i MISS phone booths. heh. :-D

and now i'm going to write "Emerson Hospital" five hundred times to attract attention when people do a web search for it:

Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital Emerson Hospital 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(OK, maybe it was a few times more than 500.)

a sad day

we're in mourning here; overnight, a beloved (and somewhat crazed :-) member of our family has died. Angel, one of our two-year-old parakeets, won't be falling off of perches or flying into walls anymore. She's in a better place now. Perhaps Aruba. farewell, birdie . . . .